I could not leave the poor thing sitting on the side of the road. So, I pulled my van over on a busy route with hazards on, shoved it through the muck to the curb, tipped it on its side, leaned it upside down against the bumper and hoisted it up into my trunk. Off came the free sign as I slid it into its space.
The warpy, soggy, circa 40's waterfall dresser is now snug and dehydrating in my basement.
Aaahh, so happy. I swear it smiled at me. Or maybe I just smiled enough for the both of us.